Pure Light
by pinkwolf1620
Summary: After a movie night with the girls, Felicity starts acting differently and is scared around Oliver. After another close encounter she runs home to be safe. Team Arrow follow Felicity and uncover something beautiful about Felicity's home that must be protected at all costs. Coming together has never been so important. Can Felicity trust Oliver enough? M for RAPE and ASSAULT.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This was a plot bunny that wouldn't stop bouncing around in my head until I wrote it down. I kind of like how it turned out. Enjoy and read and review! Let me know if you want me to continue it!**

Music played loudly through the stereo, assorted lollies, cheeses with crackers, shot glasses and wine glasses were set out on the coffee table while a bottle of wine and a bottle of vodka sat in buckets chilling. Felicity took off her dress and pulled her hair out of its usual ponytail and pulled on a tank top and sweat pants. She was ready for a girl's night. It had been a while since she had had anything like this planned, and it'd been never since she had hung out with just the girls from Team Arrow outside the lair. Felicity was excited and giddy as she downed a shot to calm herself.

Felicity had no idea what they were going to do that night – watch movies? Play drinking games? Just eat and talk? She liked to think that she was prepared for anything at this point after working with Oliver. Not a lot scared her anymore. Felicity had been kidnapped and held at gunpoint, stitched up wounds and had become like her own personal hero. She thanked Oliver silently every day for making her just a little bit braver.  
Knowing the billionaire had changed her in such a short amount of time, he made her feel things she didn't know she could, bravery was the obvious one; he also brought out a fierce longing within her. At first, she tried to ignore it knowing that such feelings were a distraction and with what they did every night in the lair it was not something she welcomed. Yet when she would get home, take a shower and get into some comfy clothes she would think about these feelings.

Felicity wasn't a hormonal teenager anymore, her body had grown and changed into that of a young woman and at 25 she knew everything about it. Except one vital part that scared her and fascinated her at the same time. Sex.  
All her friends teased her in jest about being a virgin, it was all in good fun she knew but some of the things they would say hurt her:

"God, you're like a unicorn!"  
"You'll figure out what you're missing, just look at porn!"  
"What are you some kind of prude?"

Felicity would shrug off their comments but they stayed with her at night when she was trying to sort out her feelings for Oliver. She knew arousal was normal, the slight wetness between her legs sometimes was just her body getting ready for it whenever she saw someone that excited her. Nothing happened though. She would go on dates with men but once they found out she was a virgin they would clearly either be only after sex or run for the hills.  
When Felicity would lie in bed she would think about Oliver. He had been with probably hundreds of girls and knew what sex was. Had he ever been with a virgin? No. The kind of life Oliver Queen was used to was all loud music, loose women and booze, with him it just happened.

When they came back from Russia and he tried to explain himself with 'It just sort of happened, it didn't mean anything'

Felicity was confused by his off-hand comment about it. Wasn't sex supposed to mean something? It was important in a relationship and helped two people grow closer together. Whenever she said something like that to her friends while they were out, they would all giggle at her and would say that she would grow up and give it away some day.

Now that she was working closely with Oliver and the Team, she hid this part of herself from them all. They didn't giggle about sex or talk about it over a bottle and for that she was thankful. They had no idea she was a virgin and she intended to keep that part of herself private. Tonight was all about fun and if they played any sort of game that prompted her to tell them anything sexual about herself she would lie.

A quick knock at the door brought her out of her musings, Laurel and Thea followed by Sara came in and they all hugged and marvelled at her house "It's beautiful"

"We should totally hang out here more often" Sara smiled and took a seat and reached for a bottle of wine "tonight we party!" she giggled ecstatically

"And I bought just the thing, it only came out on DVD yesterday!" Thea reached into her bag and mischievously pulled out a DVD and all except for Felicity howled and cheered. Felicity felt her blood run cold _any movie but that one!_ She silently freaked out but hid her fear with a smile and a glass of wine in front of her face. If it had been Magic Mike Felicity wouldn't have minded as much, half naked men she could handle but this movie was something else. 50 Shades of Grey.  
All her friends had tried to get her to see it but she always found an excuse not to go, now that it was in her house she felt like she couldn't escape.

Sara and Laurel begged Thea to put the vile DVD in the player and she jumped up eagerly, Felicity tried to distract them "Thanks for bringing it Thea but do we have to watch it now? I mean, why not wait until later when the alcohol and pizza kick in?" she nodded

" _God_ no!" Laurel protested playfully and helped Thea "we watch it now and have the alcohol to cool us down!" the girls fanned themselves suggestively. Felicity took another gulp of wine and went to order the pizza, she felt Sara looking at her and when she was done with the phone Felicity could have sworn Sara looked away with a look that said 'sorry'. Did the blonde assassin know she was uncomfortable? Maybe the IT Girl should stop drinking lest she let her guard down. No more shots.

* * *

The pizza lay half eaten in its box, the wine bottle was drained of its contents and the bottle of vodka was following behind. The movie was in full swing and Felicity hugged a pillow protectively when she found the only thing she could relate to in this movie was being a virgin and nervous around a man she was attracted to. Thea and Laurel were oblivious the whole time; their eyes glued to the screen.  
Felicity felt her cheeks burn when the first sex scene came on and her brow crinkled when the actor said "Going to rectify the situation" was that seriously what he called taking a woman's virginity? Sure the scene was…good but there didn't seem to be any real love there, to Felicity anyway.

Then the black leather, the moans and sighs erupted from the screen followed by Thea and Laurel cheering and fanning themselves. Felicity made an excuse to leave the room and Sara followed, truly concerned about the IT Girl "You okay?"

"Yeah, totally! Just getting another drink" Felicity filled a glass with water trying to stop shaking, one more scene of watching people tied up with all the thrusting and whipping and Felicity didn't think she could stop from crying "really, I'm fine" she said again and turned away from Sara who clearly didn't believe her. Only half an hour to go and Felicity would be free.

* * *

"SO much fun!" Thea sloppily hugged Felicity as the last few drinks she had were finally starting to hit her and leaned against her blonde friend "we _seriously_ need to do this again!"

"I'll keep my calendar open for you" Felicity smiled and hugged the small girl back "get home safe!" she called to them and waved the retreating car. Felicity regretted going to sleep.

Nightmares came to her that night. Felicity tossed and turned fearfully as images of a man slowly approaching with a leather belt plagued her, with the first strike of leather on her skin the dream changed to her fully naked on a bed with a faceless man above her. He bit into her neck playfully and Felicity screamed when he started thrusting.  
Felicity woke up screaming and sweating, she felt sure there was someone in her room with her waiting to hurt her or worse. She reached for her phone and punched in Sara's number but then stopped herself – what would the badass assassin think of her if she couldn't handle 50 Shades? No, she couldn't bother Sara with this and put her phone away.

Felicity would try her best to deal with this. She didn't get any sleep that night.

* * *

Oliver smiled when he saw the picture messages from Thea, they were of the night before and it looked like the girls had had a good time. There was Thea taking a selfie, Laurel and Thea getting ready to go to Felicity's, a group photo with all the girls in their pyjamas ready to watch movies, Oliver frowned when the next photo was of Thea and Felicity taking a shot each and hoped they didn't drink too much as Thea was still underage. Oliver then chastised himself, Thea was with Laurel, Sara and Felicity and all of them get along great. They were all as safe as could be.

Hearing familiar clicking of heels and the smell of hot rolls brought up a feeling in Oliver, it was like coming home, such a beautiful feeling and it seemed to erupt inside him when he laid eyes on Felicity. Oliver's usual greeting died on his lips when he actually focused on the blonde in front of him, her hair that was usually brushed nicely and curled was pulled haphazardly into a pony with strands sticking out. Felicity's makeup was different, a little too pink on the cheeks, the lipstick didn't match and there were unmissable shadows under her eyes. Oliver greeted her warmly and noted that she only offered him a small smile in return "Felicity?" Oliver came forward and felt his heart jump when Felicity visibly flinched from his touch "Felicity, it's me" he said kindly with a hint of concern, as if he was comforting a scared child "are you alright?"

"Oliver…I just…you scared me" Felicity's excuse was poor at best and she refused to look at him "did you want to go over todays meetings or would you rather bump up your 10 o'clock for now since we have time?" she was avoiding any more talk between them as she moved to her desk but Oliver followed her like a puppy, she both loved it and hated it right now.

"Actually, how did the girls night go? Thea sent me photos, it looked like it was fun" Oliver showed her his phone and scrolled through the photos for her

Felicity glanced at them for a second before going through several files on her desk, trying to distract herself from thoughts of last night "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night" her voice was shy all of a sudden "it went later than I expected"

After more prodding Oliver noted that Felicity didn't want to talk and he really wanted to know why. Didn't she have fun last night? From what Thea showed him the night looked like it was a success so why was Felicity acting like it wasn't? Oliver made a mental note to keep an eye on Felicity and he behaviour for the time being.

* * *

Throughout the week Felicity tried to hide the fact she wasn't sleeping, and made excuses why she wasn't eating at the lair like 'I ate before I came here' or 'I had a huge lunch', which Oliver knew were all lies, and she still flinched when Oliver made a move to touch her shoulder affectionately and smiled in her direction. Felicity heard him whisper to Sara and Laurel and even Thea for an explanation but none of them could offer one for her behaviour. This made Oliver more worried than before.

Felicity made a point to work extra hard, working her fingers to the bone until they ached and her eyes became strained from looking at the screen so much. This was her plan, to exhaust herself so much in the lair looking for their current bad guy, a man named Steve Merrow, that when she got home she would collapse into bed and wouldn't dream. It was fruitless however. No matter how exhausted she was the nightmares always came and now they were changing and mingling with her feelings.

 _Oliver sat at his desk going over paperwork and sighing here and there, putting numbers in and putting initials where needed before he would always ask for her to come in. Felicity stood in his doorway admiring his suit before Oliver would get up with the forms and give them to her with a hungry look in his eyes and one request on his lips "Sign here and we can get started".  
Felicity would always try to stall with questions, making Oliver angry and then he kissed her heatedly, it was a kiss only her imagination could come up with. Felicity would try to get away when his hands would get to grabby and this only made Oliver angrier and then the dream would change._

 _They were in a dark room, the sound of metal on wood scared her but not as much as Oliver's hungry lustful look. He would bring out a leather cat-o-nine-tails ad slowly drape the ends over her skin saying how beautiful she was and that he couldn't wait to punish her. Punish her he did. Felicity would try to scream as Oliver assaulted her again and again, the leather on her shackles tight and biting, her voice seemed totally gone as Oliver said over and over "You're mine" in a seriously sensual tone that confused her._

Only then would Felicity wake up screaming and sweating as if she had run a marathon. Always reaching for her phone and putting in the only number she wanted to call – Sara's – before deciding that Sara probably didn't want to talk about her stupid overreaction. Felicity knew that she could deal with this on her own even if she had to turn to pills to help her sleep.

* * *

Oliver knew that Felicity was getting worse and now he was in full 'worry mode' and watched Felicity like a hawk. His IT Girl was now looking like a poor copy of her former self and her work in the lair and at QC reflected that. Twice she had gotten times for meetings wrong and dropped all the paper work on the ground.  
Working in the lair she messed up locations several times and given Oliver and the Team the wrong address or house number or the amount of goons that had to take care of wrong. Oliver was more concerned than angry with her and when he confronted Felicity about her behaviour it didn't go as planned.

"What happened?!" Oliver growled as he and Team Arrow walked in, he put down his bow but continued his verbal assault "Felicity, _seriously_ there is something going on and it has almost cost us our lives several times!" he knew Felicity was fragile right now and felt Sara's hand on his shoulder to steady him but he rudely pushed it off "explain Felicity!"

Felicity felt her heart race as Oliver gave her the same angry look as he did in her dreams "I…I" she tried to get the words out without crying as Oliver came forward again , she looked away but he grabbed her arms and made her look at him. Something inside her snapped and she reached her hand back to slap him hard across the face " _get the hell off of me!_ " she shrieked before tears welled up and she started to cry out of pure fear.  
The rest of Team Arrow rushed to Felicity's side, Diggle was the first to reach her but she shrunk away from him too "No! Not you either!" she screamed childishly as Sara protectively stood in front of her, gently stroking her arms where Oliver had held her "Sara…I can't–"

"I'm going to take her home" Sara used her tone to also say silently to Oliver that there was no room for argument and that he was not to talk to her anymore tonight. Both blondes left the lair quickly leaving them all confused and worried about Felicity. Oliver was still fuming.

"Now we don't get an explanation!" he shouted angrily and threw his quiver down

"Are you fucking kidding me Ollie!?" Thea roared as her own bow and quiver were put away in haste "clearly something is wrong with Felicity, we've all noticed how she's changed" she looked to each member in turn before continuing "and instead of asking if she is okay, you yell at her until she cries!" she pushed her brother but he hardly moved despite the power she put behind her attack

"Did you ask what was wrong?! You're her friends too! If something is wrong with her isn't it some sort of girl code to ask what's wrong?" Oliver looked from Thea to Laurel waiting for an explanation, both girls looked away each knowing they hadn't noticed and hadn't been good friends to her. Sara did notice though. Thea and Laurel left in defeat while Diggle stayed to try and calm Oliver down.

* * *

Once back at Felicity's house, Sara sat with her friend on her couch with a blanket and a mug of hot tea. They didn't speak for some time and all Felicity did was cry. Sara didn't push her to talk but kept refilling her mug with tea until she was warm and stopped shaking. Felicity didn't mean for it to come out, it was private but the thought jumped into her head and her mouth followed "I'm a virgin" she said softly

"What?" Sara prompted clearly she hadn't heard her properly "Felicity?"

"That night when you guys came over" Felicity began in a shaky voice "we watched…that movie…" she trailed off not wanting to say the name

"You mean 50 Shades?"

"Yeah…I didn't want to watch it. I'd always made excuses so I didn't watch it with my other girlfriends, I hated that movie so much. I'm a _virgin_ Sara!" Felicity started to cry again and didn't object when Sara held her and rocked her back and forth "I've had nightmares ever since! I can't look at Oliver anymore and tonight when he grabbed me I…oh god, Sara I hit him!"

"That's okay, I've hit him plenty of times. Why didn't you say anything on the night? We could have watched something else" Sara asked wiping away a tear from Felicity's face.

"I didn't want you guys to think I was a prude or something"

"Felicity we would never think that! Putting yourself through that movie has seriously hurt you! Nothing is worth more to us than your health, we need you" Sara reached for her phone and texted Oliver "you're going to have a few days off, no questions. I'll help you"

Felicity nodded and now really wanted to go to bed, Sara lead her to her room and tucked her in "You never have to worry about a man treating you like that, and if one does well they'll have to deal with me" Sara vowed sternly and closed the door and made herself comfortable on Felicity's couch.

* * *

A few days went by too quickly and Felicity was back in the game. They found Steven Merrow where he usually hung out, a local underground brothel in Starling. Felicity gulped as she pulled up more information on him, Steven was known for his taste in women. Nothing was off limits to him. He frequented the brothel called 'The Smoke House' and sampled the women, sorted them from what he liked and didn't like and then what he considered 'the best' went missing.

Oliver guessed straight away it was a human trafficking ring and scanned Felicity's screens.

"We're a little light staffed tonight" Diggle pointed out "Laurel is sick, Sara is out to dinner with her dad and I don't think you're going to let Thea set foot in that place"

"Oliver Queen wouldn't walk in there either and neither would you Dig" Oliver passed a glance at Felicity, he didn't want to ask, especially since how she had been a few nights ago but this was the only real chance they had at finding Steven.

"Hell no!" Diggle seemed to reach the same conclusion as Oliver and protested strongly "what are you thinking of sending Felicity into that place?!"

"It's not like I'll be sleeping with anyone, I know a little self-defence" Felicity shrugged "and you guys will have my back won't you? Come on this is the first real chance we have of finding this pig and stop him from hurting anyone else"

Oliver felt conflicted and wanted to call Sara but she wasn't answering her phone, Sara could handle this. After a few deep breaths, Oliver nodded to Felicity "if any of those men touch you, we'll be right there"

Felicity left to get ready.

* * *

It was dark and cold outside the brothel, the lights from the stairs lit up the sidewalk faintly before disappearing into the unknown. Felicity had been fitted with a microphone, given a knife and a gun by Diggle and instructed only to use either of them only if she feared for her life, Felicity nodded and started to shake but didn't protest when Oliver again said that they could wait another night for Laurel to get better so she could go in.  
The lights made Felicity look paler and her sequinned dress shone, Oliver swallowed as she slowly walked away from them. If she didn't come back in half an hour they would go in a get her.

Just ten minutes after Felicity surrendered herself, Sara called Oliver "I'm at the lair, where are you guys?"

"The Smoke House, we found Steven Merrow" Oliver answered quickly "we should have him in half an hour"

"Thea wouldn't go in and Laurel…wait" Sara's blood went cold as ice as she realised that Felicity was there, Sara wouldn't be able to keep her promise if she went in alone! "Why didn't you wait another night!? I could have gone in with her! She can't go in there by herself Oliver! She's…she won't leave!"

"Yes she will, either she leaves on her own or we rescue her!" Oliver explained tightly

Sara swallowed thickly and silently hoped that Felicity wouldn't hate her for telling her secret but she had to protect her friend "Oliver you don't understand! Felicity is a virgin! We have to get her out of there NOW!"

 **A/N: Wow! I wanted this to be a one-shot but now I really want to continue it. Will Oliver rescue Felicity in time or will she be sampled?**


	2. Going Home

**A/N: For those of you who have liked this story and have been so good to wait for this update: I thank you. I know that this story started off a little confusing, someone of you voiced as much in the comments and PMs. I have been going through something very personal - a female sexual disorder - and writing helps me and has become part of my therapy.**

 **Not everyone likes or loves 50 Shades of Grey, The book and movie both gave me nightmares for a week straight. I have come to terms with my condition and am taking the steps I need to to be able to have a normal sex life. This story is one of those steps. It is a highly dramatised version of what happened but it is still my story. I am writing it for me and for those of you who simply enjoy the story. More of Felicity's past trauma will come to light in more chapters. I hope you all enjoy the story and are patient with me as I write this. Thank you to those for the kind words and asked me to continue. After the first few comments on this story I didn't know if I wanted to continue then you came and told me to write it, that you enjoyed it. So did I.**

 **For those of you that hated the first chapter and said it was stupid and didn't make a lot of sense - it's about to get a whole lot stupider so you might want to click away. Up coming chapters will have magic, dancing and horses that may seem stupid to some but I have ideas and I'm going to continue to write for me and for those of you who enjoy this story.**

* * *

" _Felicity's a virgin!_ "

Felicity couldn't believe her ears – Sara and just told EVERYONE on the Team her most personal secret! If Sara thought that Felicity would confide in her again, she was wrong! Felicity felt anger and embarrassment course through her veins, which must have shown up on her face because a woman dressed in a very tight black dress sauntered up to her and smiled.

"Hey sweetie" she said seductively "you one of the new ones?" the woman wore thick makeup and had the darkest eyes Felicity had ever seen which she used to look Felicity up and down and nodded in approval "oh yes, the boys are going to love you" the woman grabbed Felicity's hand and pulled her down a hall and then down a maze of steps there were landings after landings, rooms galore and soon, Felicity knew she was lost.  
The woman opened a door to a large room and all but pushed Felicity inside and shut the door behind her, once inside Felicity tried her ear piece "Arrow? Digg? You guys there?" she asked hesitantly and fiddled with the piece a little "look, if you guys can hear me what Sara said wasn't true!" she lied and then yelped when a strong hand clapped her shoulder.

They had looked for this man for ages, spent nights looking at photos and videos of the man with girl after girl and now here he was right in front of her – Steven Merrow. Steven was in his early late 40s with specks of grey in his dark brown hair. From the files Felicity found on him Steven tried to keep the physique of a much younger man through diet, pills, women and alcohol. This man was the source of several women's suffering and he was right in front of Felicity!  
Felicity tried to swallow her fear but it was stuck in her throat when Steven began to circle her, his eyes taking her all in like a lion on a hunt.  
Steven turned his back to Felicity and poured a drink for himself "You're new?" he asked as if he didn't care less

"Yes" Felicity answered still trying to swallow the lump in her throat "My name is –"

"Don't care" Steven quickly downed his drink without offering her one and eyed her "you're new. I always sample the new ones and" he licked his top lip "I think I'm really going to like you, I may keep you to myself" he ran a hand up her arm to the back of her neck and forcibly guided her lips to his in a heated kiss that Felicity didn't return "what's wrong? Do you not get the point of this?" he asked in an annoyed tone "I bought you for the night, you're mine and I want what I paid for" he tried to kiss her again.

Felicity quickly danced away trying to think of something to say to stall him _where were Oliver and the Team? Shouldn't they be here by now now that she had Steven Merrow!?_

* * *

Oliver and Diggle couldn't believe what they had done. Sent Felicity – who they had just found out was a virgin – into a brothel! Oliver hated himself for agreeing to this plan and vowed that he would get her out of there as quickly as possible. Sara was on her way to them now but they couldn't wait and kicked down the door demanding to know where Steven Merrow was and where they take the new girls.

Oliver knew he would never forgive himself if he showed up too late to save Felicity from this.

* * *

"Are you sure we can't talk or something? Find out our likes and dislikes when it comes to this sort of thing?" Felicity tried to stall again trying to get her ear piece to work and could hear that Oliver and Digg were in the brothel and came up with a plan "I mean, you came down a lot of stairs – like _four flights_ are you sure you don't want to sit down or something?" she hoped Oliver heard her say how many flights

"Whores don't talk" he pushed Felicity onto the bed and kissed her hungrily "as for likes and dislikes, the amount I paid for you means you like what I like"

"Sorry but I'm not like most" Felicity pushed him off angrily which earned her a smack in the face and was pinned down as he kissed her neck and made quick work of her dress as he teared it from the lower half of her body

"What are you…?" then suddenly Steven understood and his face lit up like a child at Christmas "you're still intact…a virgin?" he licked his lips again "oh I underpaid for you darling but no matter" he got up from the bed taking out his phone and dialled a number "I got another one…pretty blonde, good body" Felicity was disgusted as he described her body like a reading a list of requirements "and a virgin!" he laughed manically into the phone and hung up.

Felicity tried to scoot away as Steven came over to the bed and lowered himself on to it "that was my partner I work with overseas and he is very interested in you, have you ever been on a plane before? You will tomorrow when I take you to him…after I have a little fun"

* * *

" _…after I have a little fun_ "

Oliver growled as he sent an arrow flying into one of Steven's men and again asked where they take the new girls "TELL ME OR DIE!" he pointed an arrow at the nearest girl who told him exactly where he could find Felicity  
"But I warn you, Steven doesn't like to share" she winked and Oliver left to run down the stairs.

Felicity was _not_ going to lose her virginity this way. Oliver froze outside a door when he heard Felicity scream for help "FELICITY!" he roared and kicked down the door, feeling his blood go way passed boiling point at what he saw. Felicity half naked on a bed with Steven Merrow above her, one hand on her face trying to stroke it tenderly while the other was unseen between her legs and inside her underwear.

Felicity wore a look of pure terror on her face when Oliver came in to room, he had come to save her but she hated that he had to see her like this. Felicity let out a cry as Steven Merrow was lifted of the bed, his fingers harshly ripped out of her, and was pinned against the wall. Oliver no longer felt like himself, he was angry, protective and ready to kill. Oliver was all Arrow at this point and punched Steven in the face when he tried to beg for his life "YOU DON'T GET TO SPEAK!" Oliver roared "YOU HAVE CAUSED COUNTLESS WOMEN PAIN AND SUFFERING AND NOW YOU HURT ONE CLOSE TO ME **GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T RIP YOU APART!** "

Steven whimpered pathetically in answer.

Felicity was completely frozen with fear on the bed, she had managed to get up and cover herself with one of the many blankets when Diggle and Sara made it to the room. Diggle went straight for Felicity and tried to comfort her and was shocked at her response to him, she screamed in fear and backed away saying over and over that she didn't want him to touch her.  
Sara took over, speaking soft words and taking small steps towards Felicity "It's okay, I'm here, I'm not going to hurt you, it's me. Sara"

Felicity stared at Sara and started to shake when Sara put her arms around her protectively "Arrow, take care of him before I do"

"With pleasure" Oliver took out an arrow from his quiver before turning to the girls "get her out of here now."

Oliver's thoughts were racing with what he had done in agreeing to this plan. Felicity was a virgin. A Brothel was no place for her and Steven Merrow had nearly taken her; the thought made Oliver growl. If only he had known but then, how could he know? It was such a personal thing and he and Felicity weren't that close. Oliver had sometimes toyed with the idea that maybe one day he and Felicity could be more than they were now.  
Now though, Felicity was hurting more than she probably ever had in her life and Oliver wanted to be there to comfort her; this had to be done quickly.

Instead of wasting words Oliver took the arrow he held in his hand and stabbed it hard into Steven's inner thigh, hitting just the right spot to pierce the perfect vein. Steven let out a howl of pain as he began to bleed quickly begging for it to stop.  
Oliver left him slumped against the wall crying and bleeding out. Oliver wished he could watch but Felicity needed him more now and he went to her willingly.

* * *

Sara kept a firm hold on Felicity as they went out of the brothel and into the open air, the cold air refreshed Sara and sooth her bloodlust but beside her, Felicity shook with cold and adrenalin. Removing her black leather jacket, Sara guided Felicity over to her motorbike "Wear this, it'll be okay" she soothed and placed that jacket around Felicity's shaking shoulders "I'm taking Felicity to Starling General. I'll meet you at the lair later" Sara said into the coms while helping Felicity on to the bike and winced when she heard a slight whimper. Without waiting for a response from Oliver or Diggle, they were away to the hospital.

Sara could feel Felicity's tears on her bare shoulders, her heart ached both at the act of betraying her friends trust and with what she had just been through. Telling them had been necessary she just hoped that Felicity wouldn't hate her too much after this.

* * *

Oliver's mind was going haywire ever since he and Diggle had got back from the brothel. Diggle was now on the phone to Lyla leaving Oliver alone with his thoughts and rage.

Felicity was a virgin.

Shouting incoherently, Oliver threw his bow and arrows in the direction of their stand and ran his hands over his head. How could he have agreed to this plan? He had only just got there in time! He could still picture Steven's hands on Felicity, his fingers had been inside her. Tonight was probably her first ever encounter with anything physically sexual and it had been with _him_.  
Oliver himself had never been with a virgin, before the island the girls he was used to were knowledgeable in sex and knew how to pleasure him, they didn't require as many dates to woo – sometimes all they needed was a text and a location – virgins were different. They were special. Before the island he considered them too much work. Too much pressure. All he had wanted back then was a good time with no strings attached.

Now since coming back he liked to think he had changed in that department, he had grown up and no longer shared his younger self's views on womanising. Oliver now knew that virgins were no different to other women, you could still have fun with them, they just needed a little help when it came to sex.  
His worried mind left the recent dark thoughts and swayed over to a more pleasant place, if things were different he might ask Felicity out on a date, dinner by candlelight in a nice restaurant, a few movies maybe, small kisses at first. Felicity might tell him she was a virgin but he wouldn't leave her because of it. Oliver knew now he would kiss Felicity softly, take her to her bedroom and show her what it meant to be fully consumed by love and passion. Oliver knew that she would compare it to all her sexual encounters and he needed to make it beautiful and perfect, if they were together afterwards or not would be fine with him; as long as she shared her first time with someone who really cared about her.

Oliver played with his mind a little more and then saw his phone was ringing and answered it immediately. Felicity had asked to see him and Diggle in the hospital.

Olive and John left straight away.

* * *

The nurse gently spoke to Felicity "Miss Smoak, please spread your knees so that I can examine you" Felicity shook her head while holding Sara's hand tightly, the nurse looked to Sara "I need her to unclench so I can see the damage, I knew there is blood but I can't see all the damage if she won't let me examine her"

"Okay, Felicity" Sara stroked Felicity's hair "you need to let her do this so that we can catch the guy who did this to you" she explained "you can do this"

"I-I-I want a shower, I feel gross. He touched me" Felicity all but screamed at Sara and the nurse who tried again to spread her legs, Felicity promptly closed them again.

"You can have a shower once I've done the exam" The nurse turned her back and rummaged around for a giant swab and explained that if Felicity wouldn't allow a totally physical, she would take a swab and get whatever DNA was still on and inside her. Felicity consented and winced strongly as the swab gently stroked and took everything it needed "All done Miss Smoak" Felicity sighed in relief and was given a hospital gown and shown the bathroom where she could change.

Now that she could see herself in the mirror, Felicity wanted to throw up. Her hair was a mess, her makeup was ruined and her dress was non-existent below her belly button. Felicity felt horrible and made quick work of the rest of her clothes, showered under the hottest water she could manage. Steven Merrow had touched her he had been inside her, the first man to be inside her. Gingerly, Felicity touched a finger to herself and winced at the pain there, the water had washed the blood away and she was thankful.  
Felicity wondered what with all the blood and pain if she was a virgin anymore? If her hymen had been broken then physically she wasn't but she still felt like her old virgin self. She would have to get used to not being a virgin anymore.

Sara knocked on the door and asked if she was alright, Felicity came out wearing the gown and put her clothes in the bin. Suddenly everything that had happened came back to her and she started to cry again. Sara swiftly took her into a hug and told her that everything was going to be alright, Steven Merrow couldn't hurt her anymore and Oliver and the team would protect her "Sara…Sara, I'm not a virgin anymore. I was bleeding, my hymen broke! I'm not a virgin anymore!" Felicity sobbed into Sara's shoulder "it wasn't meant to happen like this" Sara agreed and promised that everything would be okay, then pain would go away and she could seek help from a professional on what to do now.

Felicity weighed her options and came to a decision "Call the team. I'm going home"

* * *

"She's leaving?!" Oliver asked Sara the minute he and John entered the hospital "what do you mean? Is she leaving forever?"

"Oliver! It's understandable after what she's just been through tonight! She is going home for a long as it takes for her to heal. We can carry on without her for a little while" Sara eyed Oliver and tried to convey everything Felicity was feeling "She has had something stolen from her tonight. Oliver, she needs to heal away from here"

Oliver went passed Sara and opened Felicity's door and saw her with her back to him, she was wearing Sara's jacket and some hospital scrubs and would need to go home to back some real clothes. Felicity needed to pack and was going home. Oliver felt his heart clench as he watched Felicity talk on the phone, to a woman he presumed from her tone of voice, and make plans for a flight and to be picked up once she got to Vegas. It sounded as if she bought a one-way ticket, did she plan on coming back?  
Oliver asked as much, Felicity got off the phone and turned to face him "I don't know Oliver" she answered without looking at him.

"You…you can't look at me can you?" Oliver said quietly trying to hide the hurt "Felicity, I want you to know that I got Steven. He's gone and he's not coming back" he thought that him saying that would make Felicity feel better but her eyes welled up when she did finally look at him.

"I'm…I'm not a…not a virgin anymore" her voice shook "so I guess what Sara said isn't true anymore" Oliver tried to come forward but Felicity put her hand out in front of her protectively and saw the hurt in his eyes and felt her own heart break "I'm going home Oliver, I don't know when I'll be back but…I can't stay here" Oliver nodded in understanding "my mum is going to pick me up and it'll be good to be home. The boys miss me" she cracked a smile

"Boys?"

"My brothers. I have four so it's not like I won't have protection there" Felicity tried to laugh at her lame joke "I'm sorry Oliver"

"You never have to apologise to me. Take all the time you need. We'll be here when you get back" Oliver hated what Steven Merrow had done to Felicity. In one night Felicity had gone from a confident young woman to a scared fragile thing and he wanted desperately to help put her back together and try to make her whole again "Take all the time you need" he said again driving his message home

"Thanks, I leave in the morning" and the healing can begin. Felicity had no idea how she was going to heal but with her family back home and Oliver and the team in Starling she knew that it would be easier than doing it alone. 

* * *

**A/N2: Felicity has FOUR brothers back home? I like where this story is going, Felicity needs both her real family and her Arrow family more than she knows right now. Going home may mean the beggining of healing but also the start of a family betrayel and a race against the clock!**

 **Read and review (no harsh comments) and I'll see you for the next chapter!**


	3. Start to Heal

As soon as Felicity got off the plane she turned her phone on and wasn't surprised to find messages from the team:

The first was from Oliver:

 _Let us know when you land._

She smiled at his message and wondered if Oliver had wanted to write 'me' in place of 'us' and had decided against it to seem neutral. Felicity went with the latter and moved on to read the other texts from Diggle, Thea, Laurel and Sara.

 _We're here if you need us_ Diggle's text read _Your plane should land in Vegas at 0900._

Felicity had all her information and flight info mapped out to the letter but appreciated Diggle reminding her even if she already knew what she got to Vegas.  
Thea and Laurel's texts read the same thing making her think they had written them together, simply saying they hoped she got well soon and came back to them.  
Felicity opened Sara's last of all:

 _Hope you get home safe. Everything is going to be fine. Healing from this takes as long as it takes, focus on you and getting yourself better. We'll miss you and we're here if you need us. X_

Felicity felt a twinge of betrayal still when she read the text, it was the longest of all of them and the X at the end made her slightly peeved. Did Felicity hate Sara? No. Yet she still felt hurt that she had told everyone on the team her biggest secret. Thea and Laurel were the last to find out but it was unavoidable to hide it from them when everyone else already knew. Felicity wondered who on the team had told them – Oliver, Sara and Diggle? – until she decided that she didn't care who told who what. They all knew and that was that.

Walking through the terminal to baggage claim Felicity thought back to the phone call with her mother the night before -

"Mum?"

"Fee Fee my beautiful girl!" Donna had sounded ecstatic at the unexpected call and squealed into the phone "what a surprise! How is everything going?" she asked breathless from her outburst of energy. Felicity could hear noise in the background and could only assume it was her brothers coming to the phone after hearing their mum freak out "…just a second!" she said when one tried to grab the phone

"Mum, I'm coming home. Tomorrow" Felicity's voice was so serious it left no other room for other emotions "I just need to come home"

"Felicity? What's wrong honey?"

"I don't want to get into it over the phone, let's just say…there was this guy and just leave it at that" Felicity then proceeded to tell her mother when her plane would get in and told her if they couldn't pick her up then a cab would be fine but she really needed to come home.  
Donna of course let her daughter know that the whole family would be there when her plane landed and everything would be taken care of. She asked again what the trouble was but Felicity refused to talk over the phone, said goodbye and hung up.

Once Felicity had got her bag and went looking to find a cab, she didn't have to look long before she found her mum and four brothers standing there waving and jumping up and down with giant banners 'FELICITY SMOAK!' one read alone with 'MY BABY GIRL' on the other.

The first of Felicity's brothers came forward first and hugged her. Adam was the oldest and loomed over Felicity was a body that was used to hours of workouts, his hair went to his shoulders but was tied back to his neck "There's my baby sister!" he bellowed in a hearty voice that always made Felicity jump, in a good way.  
Caleb and Eli were next. Both were like Adam but slightly smaller, Caleb's skin was a light tan from being out in the sun and working all day, his eyes had little wrinkles around them when he smiled and hugged Felicity tightly. Eli wasn't as loud as his brothers, Felicity noticed a newspaper under his arm and a pencil behind his ear and didn't doubt he had started the daily crossword "I saved half for you" he greeted Felicity with a warm hug and a smile.  
Liam was last, he was the youngest brother and different from the rest. Where they had dark hair his was blonde with a very slight red tinge to it, it stuck up and out at odd angles and he didn't have the physique of someone who did much physical labour. Liam wasn't family by blood rather that he was adopted before Donna had Felicity. They all treated Liam the same and loved him.

Looking at her family now, Felicity really felt better and hoped that the healing would be smooth and quick. She already missed the team dearly.

Donna had planned a large welcome home dinner and invited a few of the neighbours around too. Felicity was glad that dinner was hours away and asked her mother and brothers how the horses were doing back home.  
Each brother had something to say, over the years she had learnt to hear every single one when they were talking all at once and smiled at all the stories about their ranch while she had been away.

The Smoak's owned a ranch called Clear Sky just a stone's throw from Vegas's glitz and glamour yet you wouldn't know it. The ranch was large with two stables fitting fifteen horses in each, there were also horses that didn't live in the stables but roamed through the large paddocks on their land. Felicity had a horse of her own – a palomino stallion named Majesty – and longed to see him and go for a long gallop. She knew he wanted to see her too.

"…they've been sniffing around again" Caleb was busy explaining something to Felicity "did you get our emails about it?"

Felicity nodded. For months now there had been men in suits and lab coats wanting to look at their horses as they had been seen with unusual traits different from any other breed. The Smoak boys had told them to go away as their horses were like any others but these men were not convinced. First, trucks had turned up and they were offered a large sum of money if they could have only one foal from the herd and they were refused. Next while the Smoak family were all out, men had panicked the whole herd and tried to trap them and take them that way.  
Felicity and upped their security with cameras and motion sensors after that, they branded all their horses with special markings and hired a security guard to watch the place at night and every hour of the day at least one family member had to be at the house.  
No one knew why they were taking such precautions to make their horses safe or why the men were after them but the Smoaks knew.

The horses weren't like normal horses. They were special. It all began one night two years ago, a terrifying storm had broken out and thunder boomed over the stables and house. The wild herd in the paddocks all huddled under the trees while the Smoak brothers tried to get them to safety. Lightening had struck the tree several times, Caleb, Eli, Adam and Liam didn't know how they all could have survived but when they stood up and looked at the horses expecting a massacre; the horses looked scared but completely unhurt.  
Some were lying on the ground as was expected but they had changed colour and size. Caleb had run to the nearest horse, a stallion, and examined him. The horse lying before him now wasn't black like before, but a bright red that shimmered in the rain. What was going on? All the horses that had been under the trees had changed colour and were larger than before. Some red, orange, green, blue and even purple and gold!

They had grown in size and they stood up as if nothing had happened. The horses looked like a dazzling rainbow in the storm, their light shining bright for all to see. Caleb and his brothers watched as the shimmering red stallion tossed his mane motioning for Caleb to touch him and when Caleb did, his mind burst with colour and emotions before forming pictures and thoughts.  
A warm feeling spread over Caleb as he closed his eyes "amazing" he breathed a sigh as more emotions swept over him _you…are…my rider_ a voiced sounded in his head and Caleb peeled his eyes open "what?" he asked his brothers but they hadn't heard anything, the horse shook his mane and again the voiced sounded in Caleb's head _you are my rider!_

Things had only gotten stranger for the family from then on. Caleb had somehow formed a bond with the red stallion, they could hear each other's thoughts, feel their emotions and know where each other was at any given time. The horses looked amazing in rainbow coats but during the day and around other humans they could conceal their coats to look like that of normal horses. This was safer as they were being watched by others.

From then on, Felicity and her family had decided to keep them a secret, they still didn't know everything their new horses could do and they were finding out new things all the time.

"They're back again?!" Felicity leaned close to Caleb in the passenger seat "did they get any of the herd?" she asked trying to hide her anxiety

"No, we ran them off the property but I'm pretty sure they'll be back" Liam sighed in defeat "why don't they leave them alone? They just animals"

"Special horses that need to be protected! We'll tell the public about them when they're ready!" Felicity shot back "they better not come back while I'm here!" she vowed

"Yeah, with your connections in Starling City they should be shaking now that you're actually here!" Adam laughed as his joke that he and his brothers were in on but Felicity wasn't

"What connections?"

"The Arrow for one! If he were here those men wouldn't dare touch us!" Adam pictured the Starling City vigilante astride a powerful horse with a blazing arrow pointed at some invisible foe and sighed "He'd protect them" he said worshipfully

"It's not like I have The Arrows number or anything" Felicity shrugged her shoulders not wanting to talk about him "he only saved me once" her tone let them all know that the conversation was dropped. A familiar noise stopped any new conversation and the Smoaks eyes were pulled toward the paddock to their left. The horses were galloping alongside the car racing them.

Donna put her foot down on the accelerator hard and the horses pushed themselves to keep up, Felicity loved watching them in their hidden forms but what happened next was her favourite part about them. With one toss from the lead mares' head and a wild call to the wind the horses coats faded to their bright glimmering ones. One by one they changed colours: pinks, red, oranges, greens and yellows, blues and purples and every shade in between.  
Felicity kept her eyes on the herd, there were so many of them but her eyes finally found her one: the blazing gold stallion. Felicity called to Majesty who answered her with an excited whinny.  
Their car raced to the house where the horses were forced to stop behind the fence. Felicity got out and immediately went to her horse, cooing softly and stroked his feather- soft coat.

The large stallion nickered and tossed his mane sending feelings of love and relief to his owner "I missed you too boy" Felicity smiled "I'll be staying for a few…" how long _would_ Felicity be staying? Weeks? Months? She never gave it much thought only that she would get better here. Felicity would need to let Oliver and the rest know exactly how long until she would be back as soon as she made the decision. For now she would focus on herself.

* * *

The kitchen smelled fantastic with all the food being prepared. Donna asked Felicity to help, ignoring the protests from the boys. A mother knew when her daughter needed to talk and catch up.

"Cut up these carrots for me?" Donna handed Felicity a large bag of carrots and Felicity took them, she wasn't much of a cook but Felicity liked chopping vegetables. Felicity started cutting and once the knife hit the orange flesh of the carrot, Donna and Felicity's conversation started to flow. They talked about Queen Consolidated, Donna was upset with how much Oliver made her work long into the night, they talked about Felicity's friends and Donna gave a slight push in the direction of boys when Felicity stopped cutting the carrot.

Of course her mother knew something was up. Mothers' always know. Felicity knew she needed to talk but wasn't expecting to get in to it so soon; she'd only been home for a few hours. How was she going to tell her mother what happened? "There was this guy" she started slowly, searching for the words "…his name was Steven and…"

"Was this a date? How exciting!" Donna had come to her own conclusion and Felicity was more than happy to play along with it

"Yeah, kind of. I'd seen him around the past few months…he asked me out" ignoring her mothers' girlie squeals, Felicity swallowed the lump in her throat and went on "He paid for dinner and I guess he thought that meant something…meant that I owed him or something" and then the tears came. Donna dropped everything and hugged her daughter tightly and told her she didn't need to speak anymore. Yet again Donna had come to her own conclusion and by her daughters reaction, it was the right one.

"How about I call Dr Mason and arrange an appointment for tomorrow? Talking about…whatever happened might help?"

Felicity nodded as more and more information came out, Oliver had taught her that the best lies were ones that were half true. She came up with a story and fed it to her mother. Donna put down her knife and hugged Felicity again "You don't need to cut up the carrots, why don't you go and take a ride with Majesty? The bond will help" when Felicity started to protest Donna insisted again and grabbed the phone to make an appointment for Felicity.  
Felicity only nodded, thanked her mother and went outside in search for Majesty.

* * *

The shining gold stallion turned his head attentively to the house, his mistress sent excited emotions to him through the bond and he shook his mane and danced on his hooves. It had been so long since they had ridden together. Felicity stroked Majesty's nose "Hey, how's my beautiful golden boy?" she cooed softly  
 _I missed you, Felicity_ Majesty replied through the bond and Felicity instantly felt better. Inside Felicity's head Majesty's voice always sounded so soothing, it was low like distant thunder, it was warm and made her feel safe. It reminded her of someone but as soon as she started to form the thought she pushed it away.

Majesty suggested a long gallop to clear his mistress's head and Felicity happily obliged as she swung herself onto his bare back. Together, they raced across the paddock toward the trees, the shadows surrounding them helped to melt away the anxiety pulsing through the bond. Now that they were away from the house, Felicity felt like she could breathe and think about the near future and why she was home.

Trying not to feel guilty, she filled Majesty in on what had happened and she couldn't leave anything out because of the bond. Majesty knew everything it flashed through his mind and hers from his point of view, his feelings about it and thoughts of praise for her strength. Majesty put forward that he was there for her and even though he was a horse he would still listen to try to understand.

"Right now, I'm home so I can heal, I don't know how long it will take" Felicity huffed as they slow to a trot, coming to one of Felicity's favourite places. Afternoon light glittered in the trees, the leaves shone like jewels, Felicity slid from Majesty's back and went to the little stream and soaked her feet.  
Majesty looked on as his rider played in the water, she sometimes reminded him of a foal when she first came home – always so happy, running around with her brothers, though much of that had stopped now that they were all older – and sometimes she reminded him of a mare beyond her years her thoughts were sometimes so wise.  
Right now, she was a mixture of anxiety, fear, restlessness and joy. What had happened confused him somewhat – mating was a sign that your bloodline would carry on, even horses did forced mating sometimes – but the whole idea seemed horrible to Felicity as she thought about her man who took her so roughly. Majesty would try to understand and help his mistress.

A sound alerted the two that they weren't alone, Majesty concealed his coat to look like a normal palomino and Felicity got out of the water to gently stroke his neck "It's not any of my brothers, it's okay though" she said soothingly but tensed herself when a man in a suit came into view "Who are you and what are you doing on my property?" she demanded

"You and your horse certainly cover ground fast don't you" it was more of a statement than a question from the man "I nearly didn't catch you" he fanned himself "so glad that you're back Miss Smoak, maybe _we_ can have a civilized conversation?" he grinned at her. Felicity shook her head and mounted Majesty "Please? Just five minutes?" he begged as Majesty turned his tail to leave

 _You dare to come near my kin? You will be dirt beneath my hooves!_ Majesty thought through the bond and pawed the ground

"No, I don't have anything to say to you" Felicity clicked her tongue and urged Majesty forward

The man ran in front of them, forcing them to stop and listen "You have no idea what these horses can do, let us have a look at them and then we can–"

Majesty reared up high as anger from both himself and Felicity burned inside "I have no idea what you're talking about, now if you'll just–"

"Felicity!?" Liam burst from the trees riding his own horse, a grey mare, with a protective look on his face "are you okay? Don't worry, I'll get rid of this guy, he won't come near our property again" the last part was directed at the suited man who was now looking a little more relaxed than he was when it was just Felicity. A silent conversation seemed to pass between the two men until Liam motioned for Felicity to leave "I'll escort Tim from the property and make sure he doesn't come back"

 _Tim?_ Felicity thought as Majesty quickly launched into a canter back to the house _these guys must come around more and more if we're on first-name-basis with them!  
While you were in Starling City they were here once a fortnight _Majesty explained irritatingly _always poking around the herd, asking when foals are due and if they can take some of our manes or tails to study  
Well, they aren't getting anything while I'm back _Felicity vowed as she urged Majesty on faster and smiled when the house came into view, her smile faded as she saw what looked like smoke rising from the barn windows.

The main barn was on fire!

Something told Felicity this visit home was going to be less than what she hoped. 

* * *

**A/N: I am so sorry this took so long to get out. I told you it was going to get stupider – now we have magical horses! I really enjoyed writing them and Felicity's brothers.  
How will Oliver and the Team react to this? Will Felicity call them for help at all?**

 **On a personal note – my physiotherapy is going okay, a little painful but what can you expect from Physio anyway? Please read and review, your KIND words lift my spirits as I am going through this dark time. I couldn't get through it without you.**


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